the no 'poo method

no, we're not constipated. yeah, we get that alot.

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My no poo regimen
flowers, gray
leighwynter wrote in no_poo
Hi, this is my first time posting here. I've been doing no poo for the past five years and have been through a lot of different routines and products because nothing was working at first. But I think I finally found something that works for me. I've been doing it for a couple months and so far so good. I thought I would post my routine here in case it helps anyone.

The first thing I do is bring a chicken period in the shower with me. Then I crack that egg on my head, let the tasty goo drop into my hair and massage my scalp with it and run it through my hair. Then rinse out. That's my cleansing product. Yay! Chicken periods! 

For a moisturizer I use bee puke. After I'm done showering I squeeze out the extra water in my hair and put a glob of honey in my hand, rub hands together, then run my hands down my hair. I just leave it in. I have a very hard time trying to not lick my hair throughout the day. I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy. Anyway, yummy bee puke!

I also just started using a protein treatment. I'm planning on doing it every few months or so. The main ingredient is whale sperm. It's called "Esperma De Ballena Whale Sperm Treatment". It's marketed as a conditioner, but I heard it works well as a protein treatment for some people. So I use it as a kind of conditioning protein treatment thing. I get hair damp, slather the whale sperm on, put it up in a bun, wrap saran wrap around my head and leave it for a few hours, then rinse out. It works great and I love it! Yay for whale sperm!

Hope this helps someone and maybe it will even encourage people to try new products that they haven't thought of before.

*stands up and applauds*

Don't you think it's so great that there are animals on this planet willing to gift us with their puke, periods and sperm? Well, I think so!

an egg is actually more of a chicken abortion than a chicken period...

Yeah, if it's fertilized. Those aren't sold to eat though. Chickens have a period almost every day, which is what an unfertilized egg is.

I just thought of a new experiment. A ground beef hair mask! I'm not sure if that would be moisturizing, cleansing or a protein treatment though. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I don't know if it matters to you, but "whale sperm" is not actually sperm, but a waxy substance in the skull of a sperm whale, and the whale is killed to get it.

Brains! nom nom nom... No seriously though, thanks for letting me know. I did some googleing and found that the stuff your talking about is called Spermaceti. The ingredients on the packaging just says whale sperm. I found nothing on if companies are allowed to use the term "sperm" when they really mean "Spermaceti", but I don't think this is an American brand anyways, so who knows, they might have different laws. Also I found this page, http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Do_they_use_a_killer_whales_blubber_for_lipsticks that says real spermaceti is no longer used in cosmetics and now they use artificial stuff.

It took me a while to figure out what you were talking about with the "chicken period" thing., but once I got it I just had to laugh!

I'd always tried mixing honey and water and it never worked, but I think your way sounds cool to try - nothing works for more than a day or two with me :/ Just a question; does the honey not make your hair sticky?

And do you use the lukewarm water thing cause from what I've read, egg tends to scramble in the hair :P

Hmm, well to be honest honey doesn't work very well for me. Yes, it does make my hair sticky, even though others have claimed it's not supposed to... Also, I live in a place that has like 0% humidity, and honey is a humectant, so it dries my hair out. But I'm still not willing to give it up because I SOOO love suckling on my hair when nobody is looking...

It probably wouldn't work as well for the moisturising thing, but I squeezed some into my hands, put it onto my hair while still in the shower, rubbed it in and washed it out.. It left it nice and soft, but I'm not sure I used it right... At any rate, I don't tend to use honey very often at all... LMAO @ suckling on your hair in secret! That's pretty funny! :P

Oh, I forgot to reply to your other question. Sorry for posting twice. I use cold or cool water when I can get it. During the hotter months (about half of the year for me) I can only get warm water unless I shower between like 11pm - 3am (which sometimes I do just for the cool water). So no, I've never experienced scrambled egg hair.

Haha it's okay, makes me feel loved! I took the plunge and used egg yolk yesterday and it still looks awesome! It's like... perfect! :D my only problem it I think my hair smelled slightly funky after it... Unless that was a trick of the imagination.. And the eggs are in date! Do you ever get a funky smell using them?? :/

Nope... Maybe you could try adding a drop of EO to the chicken period? Lavender scented chicken periods!

Do i just use the yolk? i just started with the bs/acv rinse day one of no poo and my hair is a litl frizzy and dry at the ends, will the yolk and honey help that?

I'm not sure if egg yolk would help because it's supposed to be a cleanser and it's also protein. But I definitely recommend the bee puke. The more the better. Let me know how it turns out.

What is your hair type? Sorry if you said so, but I didn't see it.

Straight, fine strands, thick density, and a really dry scalp.